Chivalry SHOULD be dead.

Chivalry is always discussed as being something women look for in a man. Someone to hold open a door or lay down a jacket in case of a rogue puddle that cannot otherwise be crossed.

My friend Whitley recommended this article to me and it makes some excellent points. It discusses chivalry and how it puts the protection of the woman's honor onto any man associated with her. If she acts in an honorable way, he is honored. If she does not, he is shamed.

It causes an unnecessary internalization of a woman's true thoughts, feelings, wants, desires, loves, and hates, all because she must act in a way that will bring nothing but honor upon her man.

The specific details of the article won't be discussed here, but I do recommend that you give it a read, as it discusses several interesting cases of misogyny (the hatred and demoralizing of women).

What I would like to talk about is the way that our society allows women (and let's be fair, in today's day and age, men too) to be debased and degraded when she embraces a more sexual lifestyle.

Traditionally, men were perfectly happy laying with a woman of less-than-stellar connections as long as they found a virgin to make their wife. The very society we branched off from to make our own country was founded on a patriarchal cultural structure. Woman, however, were branded whores if they were found out to have engaged in sexual congress of any kind before their wedding day.

Now, in 2010, as much as we tout equally for women and sexual liberation, a woman who is considered "loose" is still treated with disrespect from both men and women alike. Men are, once again, glad to engage a loose woman in sexual exploits as long as no one finds out and they can take home a "good girl" to meet Mom.

Women are guilty of similar transgressions. We are a catty kind, we women. If we find out a woman has been sexually promiscuous, even if she has been safe and responsible about her activities, we will immediately brand her a "slut" and gossip behind her back. As Tina Fey's character said in Mean Girls, "There seems to be some girl-on-girl crime here."

We argue and fight over some of the very men who make us feel inferior in the first place.

We allow a society largely based on a religion where women are not allowed to hold a higher position than a man to dictate rules of chastity and sanctity.

We give up control of our bodies and minds so that we can feel secure in a relationship that may not be healthy for us anyway.

Chivalry is NOT something to strive for. Chivalry assumes that a woman cannot do or think or act of her own volition because she needs to defer to a man in those situations. It breeds misogyny of women because it assumes women are inferior to men.

Chivalry and kindness are two different things. Strive for kindness. Strive for respect. Strive for partnership.