Can someone please tell me? I don't get it!
I've been gracious enough to allow an ex-bf (bf at the time) to go in the backdoor when I was on my period and feeling particularly generous. But I HONESTLY don't get what the allure is from a woman's point of view.
At first, it feels like your asshole is on fire and someone tried to kick you repeatedly to put it out.
Then it feels like you're taking a massive dump all over your bed or whatever surface you happen to be on.
I derived absolutely NO pleasure from it.
So are there any of my hOors out there who are also backdoor hOors? What do you see in it? How does it feel to you? I get why the guys would like it - it's tight as fuck (no pun intended).
But ladies?
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
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14 comments:
Well, I have to agree with the writer on a lot of points. It does hurt like a mother when you first try it. None of the fics that I read out there are even CLOSE to what I really experienced. The girl doesn't get much pleasure...at first.
I only tried because hubs kept begging (BEGGING!!) to at least try it. So, I let him. Yeah...it hurt, to say the least, but the pain subsided. I told myself, never again...but we tried again. And again. Every time, it got less and less painful. Of course, this was over a course of months, not trying every single day. Now, I do enjoy it...in moderation still. I can't go for it every day...more like once every couple of weeks, if even that. It's a nice little gift for the mister if he's been good enough for it :) After all, it's my body, and my gift to give when I can.
This being said, I've not tried any anal toys. Just some lube to get it to go in easier. I've always noticed that spooning as he's going in helps tremendously, rather than riding him or laying spread eagle. It's whatever works for the girl.
No man should ever go beyond what you are comfortable with. The person must be someone you trust completely with your body because when you say stop, they have to stop. Remember, you are the one ultimately in control so make sure your partner remembers that.
And finally, yes, I do find it pleasurable. The feeling of being filled is one that is oddly a bit different that going in through your vajajay. It's a tighter, fuller feeling and I sooooo get the pleasure for the guy. But after a while, the girl starts to feel it too. So, if you go by what you first feel, you'll never try it again...but eventually, you'll get there :)
Damn. Okay. I'll go first. *takes deep breath* I like anal sex. REALLY like it. So... yeah... I said it... Ummm... the first time, I didn't like it so much cause I was a good, Christian girl and I just thought it was wrong... The second time, I was older and more, ummm, hoorish, and I liked it. Really liked it. And I've liked it ever since. I don't know why other than it feels good and it's kinda naughty so it's more of a turn on. I have to admit that it does hurt at first so if you want to experiment with it more I would suggest LOTS of lube (LOTS) and go very slow, with you controlling how fast penetration occurs. But once you get all accomodated, it feels awesome! Plus knowing that my hubby really loves it is more of a turn on! And I can actually have multiple orgasms like this. Maybe I'm weird? IDK, but I know I like it. There. I did it. *blushes*
Oh God, your ex really did NOT know what he was doing AT ALL if it was that unpleasant for you! I don't even know where to begin lol. Here comes a novel of a comment!
First of all, that is something I would never do on my period. Your body needs to be 100% relaxed and thoroughly pleasured before hand, and for me personally, I would be too busy stressing out about if I smelled gross or something to be able to focus. Relaxation is KEY, because this will never work if you and your body aren't. Also, being with someone you trust is vital. As you already know, not everyone knows what they are doing down there, and no one should have to endure that. Too many guys these days seem to treat their porn like a documentary or instruction manual, so they think it's a-ok to just dive right in. They don't see all the preparation the actors do for an anal scene, so they don't get it. It's usually better to find out if someone is like this before you fuck them, as they are most likely convinced their moves are foolproof since the girls in porn like them. If you come across one of these, RUN AWAY.
Steps for Successful Anal
1. After you have had a decent amount of foreplay and a good number of orgasms, and you feel open to exploring more, it's time to proceed SLOWLY. Start playing around it with fingers, a tongue or any toys designed for this to see if your body is ready. Sometimes, no matter how mentally ready you are, your body just may not be up for it and you'll have to try again. But while the nerves back there are being stimulated, you need to relax and focus on that pleasure. Again, having a partner who knows what they are doing does wonders in relaxing you, since you trust he's not just going to shove things in there without warning.
2. Try a little penetration with the toy or fingers with TONS of lube. I mean a lot of lube. When you think you have enough, use a bit more anyway. Again, go SLOWLY. So SO slow. If your muscles start to burn, you are doing too much, too fast. Some discomfort is going to be expected, as this muscle is not exactly used to this, but it should never be completely painful.
3. When you think your body is ready for penetration with a penis or a similar sized toy, then get into position. TRUST ME, it will feel SO MUCH better if you lay on your side facing away from them, with your knees drawn up to your chest. Laying in this position relaxes the muscle so much, and will really go a long way into making it feel more pleasant. I hardly ever have anal in any other position than this. Lay like this, add more lube, and proceed SLOWLY. Be vocal with your partner. If it hurts, say something, and have them stop whatever they are doing immediately.
4. Once the penis or toy is able to get at least halfway in, now is the time for thrusting. That part at least should be easy, but one word of advice. Tell him (or whoever) to NOT take the penis or toy out all the way and then try to go back in while thrusting. As soon as the object leaves your ass, the muscle instantly relaxes, and all the hard work you just put in to relaxing it has to be done all over again. If the thrusting is causing painful friction, it's time for more lube, or to slip a condom over the penis or toy. Condoms are great for anal sex. Not only are they protection, but they help it feel better.
I know this seems like a lot of work, and it can be, but I am the first to say I think it's worth it. I have had some of the most intense orgasms of my life from anal, and it's great to have a little something extra on the menu when we both are feeling especially sexy (he he).
I hope this helps anyone who is interested in trying it!
Hubs and I have been together 17 years and up until recently I've always said 'exit not an entry thank you very much' and 'let me stick a dildo up your ass first, then I let you have a go on me'. So it's not something we've ever done... :P
In saying that in the last month while we've been having sex, he's been pressing his finger on/in my 'exit only' and it's added a little something to the feeling of vaginal sex. So I have been at least thinking about it.
We'll see. x
Well said, Whitley. I enjoy going through the back while using a vibe in the front. The orgasm that I get is extremely intense, for him and for me. And I totally forgot about exiting out while thrusting. You are absolutely right. DO NOT let him exit and then ram back in. Once he's in, he stays in until done. Otherwise, it's back to square one.
Hmm...all this talk about anal...Where is hubs??
I am seriously clenching trying to read Whitley's comment, LOL. :o(
My Mr and I have been discussing trying this again. We've tried before, but he wasn't so nice about it (in his excitement) and we immediately stopped. Because of this, I haven't been willing to try again until recently and I'm actually pretty reluctant about it. With Whitley's list of advice, maybe I'll try it again.
Well there's a few more happy men in the world just from Bri's Blog... and hopefully a few happy women too, oh and of course the lube manufacturer's. Win, win, win. Mwah x
I must say that a finger is the most I had been able to take. One thing my husband loved was when (in total darkness cause I was shy)I place my finger in there and rubbed his erection with my finger(s)when he was in the v. It was a total shock to him and his orgasm was intense. But he has become addicted to this play so I only do it on surprise. Also, there are products such as anal ease that helps by numming. I have only done anal with him twice but after reading the above instructions, (and emailing them to him) I am willing to try again. ;} -hismysticmuse
Anne - so glad to hear that you're going to give it another try! Maybe you can write a little write-up if you'd like afterwards ;o)
Hmm...I have never tried anal ease...I've only just used lube. Does it really work? I mean, does the numbing help at all? I would think I'd want to feel it, just to make sure I wasn't accidentally tearing something down there... **shudders**
Cullen Coven
SON OF A BITCH! I'm clenching again!! Damn you, CC.
there have been times when i've actually been in the mood for that & nothing else. my cervix is very sensitive so it's nice to not have to be careful once you get going.
that being said, yeah, the girl absolutely has to control the tempo, bc sometimes - even when i really wanted to - i just can't. but if you use enough lube & go really slow at first (& the planets line up just right LOL) once you are 'all in' it really can be awesome! and the reach around while he manhandles your clit ... oh sorry got carried away!
Ladies..I want to share that...I have done anal a handful of times with hubby over the years. Mainly as a gift to him...but recently..We did and I actually...FREAKIN loved it..I can honestly say..LOVED it..I was in "UNICORN" heaven..It actually almost made me feel pervy and stuff..cuz it made me CUM so hard...It was NUTS! he was even a bit shocked...I never would have thought I would have enjoyed it that much! (Damn making me a bit horny remembering that feeling..hahaha) Definatly want to do it with someone you trust...for sure!
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